Monday, April 9, 2007

Trying again with the cigarettes

It was a difficult break-up. I'd had just about enough of cigarettes, and it was time to give them the flick.

And you know, I missed them at first, but the more time goes by, the more you forget: what they taste like, what they smell like, even what they look like. Almost a year later, and I was doing just fine without them, thank you very much.

And then when I least expected it, we met again by pure chance in a bar one Saturday night. And we really hit it off! I didn't realise just how much I missed them. We had a fantastic night together.

Who knows, maybe there was unfinished business between us. We never had break-up sex. But we decided to see each other again, and things have been going pretty well since then. We've decided to give the relationship another go, and really work on it this time. Turns out I had commitment issues.

I have to say, I'm happer than I've ever been with them. We're really having a lot of fun together. They're so connected. Every time we're out in a bar or club, they bring me outside to the smoking area - and I'm constantly meeting new people out there, chatting away, it's very social. The cigs, they're a bit of a party animal!

And you know what, there are other advantages to smoking. Did you know you have a 70% chance of not getting cancer when you smoke? Those aren't bad odds, compared to what else could happen to you.

I suppose we'll grow old together, and we're all going to die some day. It's just a question of when.

But you can't take anything for granted. Like any relationship, you've got to keep at it, work through your differences. Especially in the face of adversity. There are people out there who don't approve of the relationship. They judge. They spend their time constantly trying to break you up. Remember kids, smoking is not for quitters!

Welcome!

Welcome to The Cat's Pants!

Why the cat's pants you say? Well, let's face it. The world is pants, it's rubbish mostly. We're all pretty doomed with global warming, carbon emissions are getting worse and accelerating, and the idiots in charge are preoccupied with their petty squabbles which causes misery on a depressing scale.

But why the cat's pants? I like cats, you've really got to admire them. So independent, so aloof. You feed them and they give you a look that says "you expect me to eat that? I'm off to Mrs. Smith next door she'll give me salmon." So they turn their back and off they strut, tail held high, revealing... you know, dude! Get some pants and cover that thing up! I haven't quite convinced my little tabby of the merits of pants yet, but we'll get there, some day.

All of this kind of talk can get you down. But fret not, the world might be pants, you and me alone may be too small to change that right now. Accepting your lot though, that can be quite a liberating experience. So in the meantime, just enjoy the ride. Life is a theatre, it can be exasperating but amusing when you put it into context. So join me on my journey that is... The Cat's Pants.